Surfer's life: February 2010

Ten Ways To Ruin Your Session
1. Put On Sunscreen Before Seeing The Waves
Call me superstitious, but unless you’re absolutely positive you’re going to paddle out, don’t curse the surf by applying sunscreen on the way to the beach—the potential to sabotage an otherwise fun session is too high, try wait.
2. Paddle Out With A Bunch Of Bros
Why decrease your odds of getting a good wave by inviting a bunch of bros to meet you in the lineup at Spot X? Brazilians and boogieboarders seem to do this all the time, that doesn’t mean you should. Paddle out solo, your wave count will thank you.
3. Talk Story In The Lineup
Are you out there to talk or shred? Between your Crackberry, iPhone, email, Twitter, Facebook, IM, cup with string attached, and parking lot banter you should have hashed out the details of last night’s party pre-surf session.
4. Have High Expectations
Know that you’re pulling up to your local beachbreak—not miraculously uncrowded Kirra on the day of the year—and surf accordingly. Yeah it’s shitty again but do yourself a favor and paddle out anyway.
5. Forget To Screw Your Fins In
Despite Derek Hynd’s best efforts, there’s zero shredding going on without fins attached to your board. Trust me, after someone “slipped” something into a cookie I ate on Maui, I’ve tried unsuccessfully to surf sans skegs—it’s not pretty.
6. Step In Tar On The Way Out
Bummer because the shit gets everywhere and is nearly impossible to remove, but the upside is you have great traction. Still, the annoyance and mess tar creates supersedes the stickiness factor.
7. Having A Shitty Song In Your Head
S.O.S. by ABBA and anything by the Beastie Boys does it for me… actually I secretly love ABBA’s ode to love.
8. Paddling Pre Poo
Nobody is ripping with a monkey tail…
9. Get In An Argument With Someone
Unless you’re one of those assholes who thrives on it, one sure fire way to ruin a session is getting into an altercation or argument with a fellow surfer. Yeah, there are a lot of idiots out there, but the best way to not let one ruin your day is to simply paddle away.

"Where's Casey "Boy" Koteen? I stay hungry!"
10. Spot Something Big And Fishy
When TransWorld SURF Managing Editor Casey Koteen and I recently surfed an isolated spot on the East side of Oahu that is known to be infested with tiger sharks, Casey Boy (as we call him when he’s in Hawaii) nearly shat his trunks upon seeing something, “big and white,” in the channel. To his credit he stayed out, albeit with his feet out of the water and sitting a bit too close to me.—Justin Coté